---diaries---MISTRESS---starfire---bwayguy---lisa---gnr---
11/25/03
Wow this past month has just been crazy! I wish I had more time to type
but look for more Hairspray interviews to come! And I'll be working
on some websites for broadway people too! Matt's will be first because
hes leeeeeeeeeeavinnnnng. So sad. But he'll be back, im sure. What else
interesting? Oh, my school had open studios and my piece was a success!
I'll be having it critiqued tonight so cross your fingers!
10/22/03
"People of NYU, please stop dying!" That was a friend's away
message a few days ago. The third student of the year having died from
a fall off a building, and I really don't feel much of anything. When
the first one happened, I thought: Wow, if I were that depressed, why
the hell would I bother getting up, getting dressed, walking ten blocks,
climbing ten flights and making such a huge public display of my death?
I mean, if I think life sucks that much, whether or not my death makes
a statement shouldn't matter because no one cares. Right? Then,
the second one happened, exactly one month after the first one. The
same staff saw two people jump from the tenth floor of the library.
That sucks. I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't have been joking about the
first kid. And oops, now NYU thinks maybe we should've done something
about those balconies the first time around. But its not their fault
the kid was on shrooms, right? They can't be everywhere at all times.
He lived in my dorm, but I didn't know him. I feel bad for his RA- resident
advisor. I mean, its most directly their job to figure out who'd do
such things. That week it was very creepy walking into Bobst. I kept
looking up as if I was expecting a falling body. And when I wasn't looking
up, I was looking for blood stains on the floor. Wondering, where did
they land? Now the third one happened while I was away from school,
and it didn't happen in an NYU owned building. They made sure to point
that out because lord knows they don't want anyone thinking another
kid died at Bobst. This kid wasn't on shrooms, but apparently was smoking
pot. Now I'm no pot expert but I wasn't under the impression it was
a hallucinogen. So, did they point it out just to make her seem like
a kid living on the edge? What's the correlation there? Really at this
point, my response was, Again? I've been desensitized. How sad is that?
And statistically speaking with one male freshman, one female sophmore
and one male junior gone, a senior female should be next. But dont worry,
I'm not going to kill myself. Writing for my website is far to amusing,
I'd miss it.
10/5/03
I once again find myself contemplating the meaning of friendship. I
consider myself a pretty loyal person albeit behind a harsh facade.
I did something this summer that cost me a friend. I did it with the
best intentions but none the less, the friendship ended. For the longest
time I didn't concern myself with it. I was angry. I was right. Guilt
isnt an emotion I'm equipped to experience. Im too stubborn, too self
centered and just too friggen blunt to bother with such an emotion.
I also don't like dwelling on misery. If I did something wrong, oh well,
too late now. My life is so trying in so many other ways, is it really
worth it? But I do miss this person. I still don't think what I did
deserved the loss of the friend, but I miss them. Im willing to allow
that I did something wrong. I dont feel sorry though. Im sorry I upset
them, Im sorry I lost a friend, Im not sorry for what I did. I would
divulge what it was but, I wouldnt think that fair to the person. Ill
put it vaguely, that I specifically ignored a request not to make someone
the center of attention in front of someone special to them.
I always seem to find myself at odds with these concepts. I have high
profile acquaintances. I enjoy their company. In the end im running
a website here and if Baz does something incredibly stupid like get
his ass fired, Im going to write about it. Ive been obsessed with defining
relationships. When can I call one of my high profile acquaintances
a friend? Do I not refer to them as acquaintances only by circumstance
of their fame? But I also only know them by circumstance of their fame.
If I consider that I would know them better and be able to 'stop by'
if they weren't famous, then I would also have to consider that I wouldn't
know them at all if they hadnt been famous. My thoughts are too deep
for 11pm. I have stuff to do and Im avoiding it.
9/27
Sorry for the two week break in updates. I wasnt in the mood to update
on September 11th. News on my end is a few websites in the works. A
DJ website, **Matthew Morrison's website**, and possibly even one for
Mary Bond Davis. As well, I am a TA for a digital art class! Pretty
exciting! It was a little scary on Thursday when the professor was an
hour and a half late to the class. Theres a few kids in the class who
think they know everything. Particularly one boy who probably does know
how to use the programs but likes to do his work at home. So theres
all that plus the support forum at Akheva and school keeps me pretty
busy. Speaking of school, my senior studio class is awesome. I have
a big room to do all my artwork in and Im loving it. Now I don't have
to get my room quite as dirty. What else? I saw Hairspray for the 17th
time on Thursday. So the next time I go I will have broken my all time
record!
8/20
Well its been an interesting week here in NYC. I was lucky enough to
be home when the black out first hit. My grandma was the first to tell
me about it, it was day time and I was trying to get my sick dog to
go outside in the backyard and the phone rang. No more than two minutes
later my mother called. For a while I took some water, chips and went
into my room to listen to my battery operated radio if I found any stations
up and running. I kept switching back and forth between KTU and 1010Wins.
It was a few hours before my parents got home from work and golfing-
my mom walking, my dad driving. Maybe 8pm. I sat outside on my porch
eventually because it was getting too warm inside. Most of the neighbors
were out, chatting. Almost everyone I saw asked me if I had candles
and if my parents were home. My brother was MIA for a little while.
Eventually he called and was in the city looking for his girlfriend
who was supposed to be coming into the city on a bus from Boston. But
they weren't letting people drive into the city. Turns out they dropped
the buses off in Brooklyn and they walked over the bridge. My bro and
his girl walked, cabbed and called home for the final leg of the trip.
What a crazy day. So much money was lost. So much food ruined. I'm a
little afraid of the dark. Well this day certainly made it easier to
deal with the dark. We burned a whole lot of candles but its not the
same as a light fixture above your head. It was really funny to see
the things people took for granted. Initially my brother wanted us to
change his answering machine message to tell his girlfriend to call
us because of the blackout. But because of the blackout, his machine
was of course not working. My parents took turns unconciously trying
to turn on the lights as they changed rooms. My mom told me I better
plug my phone in. Even I picked up the tv remote once. We ended up playing
poker in the candle light. Certainly a day I will never forget.
7/3
Hey freaks! Happy Fourth tomorrow! Ive been very very busy! Lifes good,
hope yours is too. We're looking for more concert reviews, its summertime,
I know some of you have been to concerts!!!!
5/23
Sorry this update is kinda sparse! Im off to California in just a few
hours! Spending five days there, cruising the Sunset Strip and seeing
Silverchair. Hope everyones enjoying their summer. Visit the new message
board! OH! and while Im mentioning new stuff, Im setting up a CafePress
store. Hope yall find something to buy when its ready :)
4/10
Haircares 2 was postponed till the FALL! Thats surely well after Matt
departs. Oh well, I still get to go to all those other interesting things.
Its fun trying to make a schedule for your senior year of college, realizing
that the world and responsibility is only a year away! That and finals
make it even better. Expect updates to slow as it gets closer to May.
4/5
Well, Sebastians abrupt departure from JCS has led to a drastic change
in my plans. I will get to be my little cousin's sponser at her confirmation.
I will get to see Hair Cares II. I'll probably be going to LA at the
end of May instead of Seattle at the beginning of June. And I will get
to go to Broadway Bares in the middle of June!
Im pretty stoked about all that. And happy to be past my midterms. Though
I have a long ass paper due at the end of the month. Always seems like
the second half of the semester is shorter than the first half. Anyway,
its 4:30 and I haven't gotten dressed yet. I should go do that.
3/29
Ive had an amazing week. I had a birthday party at home with family.
I had drinks at midnight the day of my birthday. Went out with some
'friends' after I saw Hairspray for the tenth time on my birthday. Went
out again on Friday and plan to go shopping tomorrow with some other
friends. I know my diaries have been pretty short, but I got nothing
amazing to say! Well, no, thats not true. I do want to share something
with all of you but Im afraid id be betraying someones confidence so
I cannot. I can tell you I went to Philly on my spring break and saw
Jesus Christ Superstar. Didnt get to talk to Baz a whole lot, he rushed
home every night, but I still had a great time. Hes missed a bunch of
shows in Columbus. I hope hes back in business by the time Baltimore
rolls around.
3/11
Well gee everyone in my little circle of friends has good news this
week! Laurie's being hit on. Becca's got an audition for Thoroughly
Modern Millie. Im just happy because Spring Break is almost here. Ive
got my birthday coming, Im seeing Baz. My other friend is doing the
walk-on role for The Producers. Life is good!
3/1/03
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Ok Im a little late. Ive had some crazy crazy months!
I got everything I wanted for Christmas, had fun New Years, won some
money over the Superbowl, went to Florida in January! Whyd I go to florida?
To see Sebastian of course. Actually, we always go to Florida, but we
planned it around seeing Baz who, I might add, thoroughly embarrassed
me in front of my DAD by telling him about my Magenta costume at Rocky
Horror. And it was brought up as a complaint, like why is she fully
dressed in Florida in January but half naked in November in New York.
UGH. Still had a great time though. Saw all the theme parks, including
some of Animal Kingdom which was a first for me. I did a few rides I
wouldn't ordinarily do, like Doctor Dooms Fearfall at Islands of Adventure
and Tower of Terror at MGM Studios. I pet some dolphins at Sea World
as well. I also saw the Shuttle Columbia go up into space, that was
the one that burned on its way home. That moment put into perspective
for me the amazing things Ive seen in my life. A friend of mine has
in their profile a quote that asks, If someone were to write a book
about your life, would anyone want to read it? I think yes.
12/15
Finals are a BITCH!!! heh. Well, they are. I just finished a paper.
Tomorrow two paintings are due, wednesday is a test and thursday is
another critique of some art stuff. Hope you all liked the Matt Morrison
interview. Hes a real sweetie. I had not expected the interview to take
as long as it did but he didnt seem to mind. The interview caused a
bit of humorous controversy on the broadway.com
message boards, if youre interested in reading it, click on 'broadway
buzz.' I guess there was a wide audience for the interview because Spouzic
has gotten all sorts of crazy traffic this week! Hope you all are having
a happy holiday season, im not even done shopping yet!
~11-21-02~
Hello Hello. Yes I am alive. Ive had an interesting school year, a trip
to california, a sickness id like to forget, finals coming up.. im a
busy busy bee. I just got a wonderful YES for a new interview coming
in december! i dont want to give away too much but, it'll be the first
Broadway star to do an interview with us! whoohoo!! I was also in my
school's newspaper about accessibility on campus and I think I pissed
off my building manager, oh well. Ok, im really tired, and my eyes are
a little over dry from visual bombardment today. Is that a word? Anyway,
I spent six hours in galleries at chelsea piers then went and did a
visual psychology study as part of my intro to psych class so typing
is not a good idea right now!!
~7-10-02~
Another diary entry. Where to begin? I had fun last night at Jones Beach-
watching the Poison concert. Not to get off on a rant but it made me
realize that Id like to see them at PNC this sunday. Problem is, my
parents go away on vacation that day. Im in a wheelchair, as most of
you know so getting around isnt the easiest thing on the planet when
I dont have someone to drive me. Im a very independednt person- I would
love to have a car, but living in NY my parents say I dont need one.
It wouldnt be impossible for me to get to pnc- but id have to take a
cab to penn station to matawan and take the shuttle bus from there to
the concert. Not to mention I dont have a ticket yet. Oddly though,
Brett claimed if we showed up with our ticket stubs from Jones Beach
wed be given a seat. Its not that I wouldnt make that kind of a trip-
ive certainly done more for Sebastian but I really dont like riding
trains alone- if I find someone to go with, id be more than happy to
do it. Im actually dreading my parents going away. Not that I dont love
having a party while their gone but with them gone brings the attention
of my brother and grandmother who can both be over bearing at times.
Its my wheelchair- and the fact that Im a girl that makes me need supervision
I know. When my brother was twenty and my parents were going away, he
was supposed to watch me- which means they thing twenty is a responsible
age. Ugh, its a battle I will fight till Im dead.
~7-5-02~
Happy fourth freaks!! Ok, Im a day late.
Criss Angel, as you may have noticed agreed to do an interview with
Spouzic. It was supposed to go up yesterday but I sent him a second
set of questions and I would prefer to post it all in one shot so I
am waiting to get those back before I post his interview. I want to
let you all know what a sweetie he is though! When I saw the show- before
I had mentioned him doing an interview with me- he was signing a free
poster for me! After I told him about his interview with me, he gave
me a free CD as well! He stood there talking with me and my friend Jen
for atleast 15-20 mins. Jens a bigger fan than I am, she was thrilled!
He even told security to let us hang out in the nightclub afterwards!
It was a fun night!!
Well Freaks, Im going away for the weekend so if anything earth shattering
happens, youll just have to survive without me!! haha! Im gonna get
away from the city and hang at my uncles summer house. I miss riding
the ATVs up there.
~Rock On, Mistress
~6-20-02~
Hey Freaks! Long time since ive written a diary huh? Ive been working
on the site- as you can hopefully tell!! Ive been making sites for a
few other people. I had an interesting experience with some friends
the other day and I thought I would share! hehe. I heard about a show
that a broadway chick I like would be in. Well, someone must not have
told her what kind of show it was going to be because she was terribly
misplaced in this show! There was bellydancing, comedy routines about
pamela lee & carmen electra and lesbianism. There was a girl in
a toga reciting poetry. By the end of the show there was a band called
Porn Rock inviting people onto the stage to play twister with their
half naked lead singer. The show got more and more amusing the more
I drank! ha! It was definitely an experience to remember.
Rock On, Mistress
~1-18-02~
Hey Freaks!! Look I updated! Its amazing isn't it?! Lots of stuff been
going on. First off, hope everyone had a nice holiday and a happy new
year. Basically I hadn't updated since Baz began Rocky Horror other
than to put up a few pictures and a concert review. I know thats terrible!
I saw Rocky Horror 17 times and I will treasure the memories forever!
Speaking of forever, watch Baz's new show on VH1 called Forever Wild
every friday at 10pm! Bye Bye Rock Show, ByeBye Scott Ian. We promise
not to miss you that much. Anyway, what I was going to say was getting
to see Baz more or less twice a week for two months served as a distraction
for me , one which I badly needed. I knew two people who died on September
11th and my grandma has spent the past five months of her life in the
hospital. Now she can spend the rest of eternity in heaven without the
machines and breathing tubes. It was difficult for me to go to her wake
and funeral. No one in my family had died since I was about nine and
I didnt go to that one so I had never been to one at all.
I barely made it up to the front at the funeral and was very aggrivated
when certain people, some not even family, couldnt understand why I
didnt want to walk up to an open casket. Even so, I eventually did it
when I was ready but seeing the casket after it was closed and being
at the funeral seeing a sea of stones each marking the death of atleast
one person was far too much for me to handle. They gave out roses to
throw onto the grave but I couldn't walk up that close so I gave it
to my brother to put it there for me. I'm glad its over. New classes
start tuesday, I am looking forward to the distraction, even if its
not as good a distraction as Baz crawling on the floor saying things
like "Yes Master" repeatedly.
Hey all,
Well Im not really sure what I want to write about today. Lots of things
have been bothering me lately. The lack of response to the contest,
continual fights between myself and a friend, just overall frustration.
Its hard trying to play catch up after missing a week of school due
to the WTC, life goes on and I have to write papers and do projects.
Hopefully my weekend with Leash will get my spirits up. I always have
fun with Miss E. Angel.
Back to my stalker. Apparently one should never eat ice cream in public area. I was peacefully eating my pint of ice cream when my friends started making fun of my for how I was eating it, saying it was seductive. Anyway, two weird guys tried to take my ice cream from me. One of them was a guy who works in my school's dining hall. So when it was time to leave he walked me and two of my friends home, but came all the way to my dorm lobby not like he did for anyone else. I thought it was cute, just him trying to get me to notice him. Then the next day I left the dining hall without saying goodbye and he DROVE the five blocks to my dorm just to have the front desk call me for him so he could say goodnight!!! Now thats just freaky!! Then I find out hes a bible pusher and was really upset about something the other day and did not come in to work yesterday. I dont know if im more worried for him or myself. It seems to me that the bible is like the only thing thats holding him together and thats dangerous.
Well, I talked with said boy and what it came down to was him thinking if we dated right now hed cause me pain because of stuff going on at home. Well, I can understand that to an extent. He would probably be really hurt if he and I had a fight now and stopped talking. We have a lot of fun together and I DO know what hes talking about when he refers to his problems at home. I didnt see him all this week for complete fluke reasons, he probably does think I am mad. Apparently when he heared about my stalker (different day different story) he got really upset. Who knows where this is gonna go maybe things will get better.
Love Sucks
I like this guy, and I KNOW he likes me! We both talk about each other
to the same mutual friend. Hes apparently intimidated by me or something
because two nights in a row he punked out of asking me out and tonight
he missed our daily dinner date. Tomorrow, Im not going. If he wants
to see me he can walk his ass over to my dorm to see me.
~9- 6- 01~
Pushing limits.
Recently ive found myself in two friendships where for one reason or
another there has been a barrier. In neither case was this idea MY idea.
Im 19 years old and as adult as, or mature as I may come off at times
I dont have many real life experiences. I certainly dont have any secrets.
My life is an open book and if it isnt already here for one to read
about all they need do is ask. I do of course have topics that put me
in a bad place to discuss. At any rate, I find myself wondering if my
openness isnt a downfall. Do I cheapen what little life experience I
do have by not keeping it to myself? What compels a person to post an
online diary? I certainly dont presume to think my life should be any
more interesting to read about than anyone elses.
To the two people who have made me ponder this: I wish there weren't
any boundaries or limits but by you having them youve probably taught
me alot. I definitely think about you more than anyone else in cyberspace.
Life is a journey, and with every experience comes a new lesson, and
every stop along that road is worthwhile. We're here on earth to touch
each others lives and learn from one another. I think the biggest compliment
I can give someone is to say theyve taught me.
lots of love, Christina
~8 - 15- 01 ~
WELL FUCK!!! lol VIPER was CLOSED!!!! hmph!!! Well anyway, i had a good
time. I am pretty sure I lost a number of brain cells at the top of
freefall!!! I got home about 2 hours ago and it is LATE!! and I am TIRED!!
my eyes are stinging, my head is spinning!! Might I add that the teacups
RAWKED and that was the ride that begin the process of making me dumber
than a dumb blonde for a day!!! I also did skull mountain and a few
other lovely rides. Most importantly I bought an item that will serve
as the final prize piece in an up and coming contest here on SPOUZIC!
look for it!! soon!!
ROCK ON!!!!
~8- 12- 01~
Hi guys! Ive been keeping busy here. Swimming, fishing, visiting museum,
ect. Tuesday I will be going to Great Adventure and maybe going on my
first upside down roller coaster!! whoohoo!! haha, im actually pretty
freakin scared! I think viper is the tamest one there!?!
I cant believe that in less than a month I will be back at school!!
Im excited and disappointed all at once! On the one hand im completely
ready to get away from the parental units but I really enjoy being able
to leisurely update my site and all and dont want to go back to the
lack of sleep and hectic scenario of school. Ah well such is life, you
cant always get what you want.
Rock On!
~7 - 31 - 01~
Im sorry I havent posted a diary in ages. Ive had a lot on my mind.
I lost a really close friend the other day and I want everyone to know
what a great person she was. One of the most genunine people in the
world and everyone loved her. I will miss her and did not want her passing
to go unrecognized. May the angels open their wings and enfold you in
them, Cristina. Love Christina
~7 - 10 - 01 ~
Hey all! I kinda feel like shit today (allergies) so im gonna make this
rather short . Spouzic will be getting a PO Box pretty soon!! It just
feels really good to know that more than just me and E. Angel and Lisa
read this!! You guys rock!!
~7- 4 - 01~
Ok I cant decide if I want to bitch about my grandmother, wish everyone
a happy 4th or tell about my excitement for the Poison concert. Its
just been a shitty day. My mom, she cant even handle a two minute phone
conversation with my grandmother and yet im supposed to let her watch
me for two weeks. Right. Me, 19, college student who dorms away, needs
a half crazy grandma watching her who does nothing for anyone except
give them headaches!
Ok, sure.
I think I finally got my outfit under control for Sunday! hehe And Im
glad E. Angel liked the shirt I saw ;) Im actually surprised she hasnt
mentioned me slurring at 4 oclock in the morning lol I am trying to
talk, its late, Im tired, I had two beers, I KNOW I was the only one
who could understand me!!!
Anyway, I hope you all had a lovely 4th!
~7- 2 - 01~
Well its 4 oclock in the morning and its the most ive been awake all
day!! It took me a whole day to recover from the Skid Row show they
werent the worst thing id ever heard in my life but they werent the
best either.. leash wrote a review of the show, its in the Metal/Rock
section. I had a great freakin time at Leash's <love ya babe! *MUAH*>
She showed me where Bon Jovi lives and let me just say he couldnt possibly
need all that space!!! We did a little shopping and my out fit for Poison
changed for like the 18th time!! I was good though, I only had two beers
and it was once we got back to Leash's. This one biker dude would just
not leave me alone ha he bumped into me a few times but nothing major
and all of a sudden hes huggin me , offering me drinks, rubbing my back,
kissing my hand !! GEEZ!! If he had had long hair, I woulda taken him
home with me!!
On another topic, let me just say, I HATE MY FUKKIN COMPUTER!!! I was
in a chatroom tonight with a guy who is pretty much a mystery and everytime
him and I seem to be having a decent convo alone his computer or mine
just decides to kick us out of the chatroom!! its a freakin curse!!!
~6-28- 01~
I ve done a whole lot of bitching today. I posted a rant on Baz's board,
I emailed some idiot back who tried to talk down to me . It feels good
to let the words fly. I am not as scared anymore for the consequences
of my actions. This works well for me, because as much as I try I suck
at being nice so why should I bother trying? I have a friend who keeps
telling me she bets I was nice to someone today but basically my motto
is if you dont like me then I got two words for ya!! haha FUCK OFF!!!
Lifes too short to worry this much
~6-27-01~
Ok, I am not psychotic! haha But I got the BEST news this morning!!!
And I really am looking forward to going to see Skid Row and Poison
the next couple of weekends!! Im just panicked over clothing!! typical
me!!
ANYWAY!! look for something cool to be appearing on the site soon!!!
~6-26-01~
Im really down today and I am not really sure why.
I guess I am so consumed with my thoughts that I forget to take care
of myself. This site means more to me than you can imagine all I want
is for it to be a success.
~6-25-01~
Alrighty folks this is our new section! My friend GNR wanted something
to do and this is what we came up with! So o o o o o o I will probably
putting email links below everyone's entries so if something strikes
you in a diary entry you can reply. Other than that I have been my lazy
self. I am trying to help a friend plan a party and trying to figure
out what to do to get more people to visit this site. Oh yeah I know
I am doing more important things that I could talk about but Evil Angel
did such a wonderful job for me all I can add to the story is that Bam
Bam, Sebastian Bach's drummer , wants to know what happens on friday!!