---diaries---mistress---starfire---bwayguy---lisa---GNR---
july 10th, 2002
i need money. i need money NOW!! i feel like a junkie..i think i AM
a junkie..a talking to my online bf on the phone junkie. ok let me just
come right out and ask..is there any kind soul out there that will just
buy me a phone card? tomorrow me and this guy have been together seven
months..i want to talk to him on the phone ::pout:: i need money. im
not old enough to get a job yet. does anyone know how to make money
without getting a job??? help me ::pouts harder:: pwetty pwease. for
real if anyone knows a way i can get money EMAIL
ME!!!!!!!!!!!! or use gnrfan1313@aol.com
july 7th 2002
i has been FOREVER since i wrote a diary! i guess ive been really busy
being bored. well no thats actually not true. ive been doing alot of
stuff lately. since i got out of school ive been trying to lose weight.
everyone tells me im not fat...but they lie! ive also been working on
a christmas present for my boyfriend. its like a diary thing and ive
been good and ive written in it every night. im broke and he likes when
i write him letters and stuff so i thought like...that hed love a whole
little book thingy about how much i love him and stuff. lol im starting
to think its a lame idea though...i dunno. ok i have summerized my life
in like...one really long paragraph. thats kinda said but its alright
with me cuz...umm..im bored thats why.
well damn...life sucks...really bad. i like a guy i met online. he
lives in south carolina...i live in louisiana...blah blah blah blah
blah! and his parents are splitting up so hes not happy. it sucks cuz
i dont like seeing him upset...i luv him...i want him to be happy...and
i dont know how to help him! grrrrrr it pisses me off and makes me sad.
any ideas??? email me! gnr@spouzic.com!
oh guess what else...one of my other best friends (met him online too)
is being taken off of aol because he told someone his name. it sucks!
i mean...i really liked him i liked talking to him and we were getting
close...and then hes just like...gone. =-( its not nice..not nice at
all!
V im sorry it took me so long...if ya hadnt noticed (from this) ive
been havng a few problems...next one will be longer...promise
starting is always the hardest. i dont know what to write about, because
i have no life hehe. i just go to school and thats..it. ive been trying
to get a job, but im only 15 so its really really hard. ive applyed
at like..10000000 places...no call back. it sucks. oh well..school is
cool i can write about that...
i have a little bit of a crush on my social studies teacher. he has
a baby face...and hes a drummer. i have a weak spot for drummers. yesterday
he took me and like...4 other people in my class to a academic game.
it was sooooo much fun. we went in his van. i sat in the back with one
of my friends..bing...she likes my boobs hehe. i scored the highest
on my team and on the way back to school we went to sonics. i shared
my french fries with the social studies teacher =-P hehehe.
ok im busy right now. i have to write a story for young aythors. ive
already written like..5...but they have to be under 500 words! none
of mine are under 500 words. AHHHHHHHH!!!! i cant do it! i cant! nope!
::cry:: i also have to figure out what im going to do for my social
studies project. im not getting any ideas....blah blah blah blah blah.
otay im done..for now..and i have to go look for stuff that i dont wanna
look for. ill write again soon..for real i swear
~ 8-16- 01 ~
coming soon: the story of my sad sad sad love life.
but for now....i hate living with 6 other people. right now im talking
to my friends and my sister keeps coming in and sitting right here by
me and watching me!!
i HATE it!!! AAARRRGGGGG!!!!
james is in here right now..he is my nephew. he is trying to make one
of his pokemon cards disappear. he is being really loud! when i get
out of high school i am going on a road trip. im going to go to all
48 states...and ill be taking notes so i can write about it later for
my diary lol.
going to 48 states will take a long time right? so id be away from these
people for a long time right? thats what i want.
~7 - 18 - 01~
i feel like shit today. uggggg. i woke up late and my mom had been banging
on the walls trying to wake me up...i dont think a person can understand
how annoying that is unless they have someone do it to them. and then
she had my neic come upstairs to my room to pound on my door...even
tho she knew i was awake. grrrrrrr
i just got back from walmart. there were some REALLY cute guys there
lol. they stood behind my sister and i in the check out line and one
of them started singing drops of jupiter by train...lol it sounded really
bad. but he was still cute!! brown hair and blue eyes and TALL! but
he was like...maybe 19 and im only 14 and thats not good.
~7- 10 - 01 ~
i just broke up with a guy. lol this is my first time..ive always been
the one asking why. im actually kind of proud of myself...i didnt back
down from this (like i have been since i started going out with him)
but now i feel bad. i HATE hurting peoples feelings!
~7 - 05- 01 ~
I cant write much right now because soon I am going to pick up my new
doggy!! yay!!! He is a stray that started coming around the house and
we all liked him. He attacked me when he saw me messing with my sisters
car and he pushed my neice out of the street when a car was coming.
On monday the dog catcher came and picked him up, but he said we can
get him in a few days and he will have all his shots and be nutered
and everything and it'll only cost $55, which is awesome. Now I just
have to wait till my goober head sister is ready to go.
~7 - 02 - 01 ~
my mouse pad is all wet. it sucks ass. everything sucks ass.
~6-28-01~
Ok I said I would talk more about these two guys...I changed my mind.
I will write about them one of these days... right now I am going to
write about one of my best friends that I am having a problem with.
My friend Josh... he doesn't want to be my friend anymore. I don't think
I can be anything more to him... he is like a brother to me. I love
him to death and dont want him hurt, but I just dont know what to do
with this guy!! oh well. Again... life is haaarrrd.
Today I went to work with my dad. He drives a truck. I read the most
of the time, but there were times when I would look out the window at
the clouds and I would think to myself, "WoW!" and other times
I would look at the clock and I'd get sad and think to myself "its
4:30 in the morning in Japan.." or something along those lines.
~6-26-01~ Im with a guy that I dont want to be with. Why am I with him? Cuz he reminds me of an ex ~ boyfriend that I dont want to let go of. I will write about him again. I will write more about this guy tomorrow cuz I dont want to write right now.
~ 6 - 25 - 01~
Around the age of eight I realized that I was going to die. I didnt
like that idea one bit. I was actually afraid to sleep at night because
I was so sure that something was going to come kill me. I didnt like
that idea one bit
either. So I figured this : If I stay awake and do everything I want
to do before I get killed, I can die happy. I liked this idea a lot.
So I would stay up, and instead of doing all of the things I wanted
to do before I die, I would worry about dying.
Last night I was reading an Anne Rice book...The Queen of the Damned.
One of the characters was talking about dying, and he told of how mediums
have had conversations with incoherent yet powerful presences. this
got me scared again because I have heard of that happening too. So does
it mean that when you die your thoughts get all screwed up and you just
dont know anything? anymore? dont you think thats scary ??
~6 - 24 - 01 ~
When you are born right before, after, or during a holiday where you
get presents, you know that life is going to be hard on you. My mom
wanted to have me on Christmas day. She told my dad ths. I heard her.
I think that would be the first time I didnt do what she wanted. It
began a streak. I also think thats the only fight I ever won against
my mom. I was born six days before Christmas. I showed her who was boss
alright.
Of course, that WAS the only fight I ever won against my mom.